HOWARD FINKEL: Ladies and gentlemen....it is now time for the final match in the 4th annual Bash Wars Open Invitational Tournament o' Death!

In a moment the winners of each of the two semifinal matches will enter the unforgiving gore_sports  arena, where they will engage in single combat until only one is left alive!  The "Both Maimed and Killed" option has been disabled, and in the event of a tie there will be an overtime period.  There.  Must.  Be a. Winner!

The finalist who receives the most votes by the end of the week will be declared the winner, and the 2009 Bash Wars Superking!

And now, allow me to introduce the participants!






First! Hailing from an undisclosed location Gotham City, New Jersey, and fighting on behalf of nathanpmahney ... weighing in at 155 pounds...he is one half of the Dynamic Duo...the Caped Crusader, the Dark Knight Detective...BAAAAT...MANNNN!!!!

And his opponent...!



Representing thebrood138 ...Originally hailing from Translywania...now residing in the Sesame Street neighborhood of New York! Weighing in at approximately 30 pounds! They call him "The Count" because he loves to count...things! Here is...the reigning...and defending 2008 Bash Wars Superking! Count...Vonnnnnn COOOOUNT!



It has been a brutal five weeks of mayhem, but the Bash Wars IV tournament ends here and now, as Batman prepares to do battle with the Count.

Batman's journey began with a relatively easy victory over Professor Moriarty, followed by a somewhat more challenging match with his mortal nemesis, the Joker.  But, for an ace crimefighter like the Bats, this is like asking a cow to graze--beating up bad guys is what he does all damn day.  He was more gravely challenged in the quarterfinals against a threat like none he has ever faced before in Cookie Monster.  Cookie took the Caped Crusader to the limit in one of an unusual number of super-close fightsthis year, and I wasn't sure Batman had anything left in the tank for Stephen Colbert.  But those doubts have been allayed, as the hero of Gotham City won a 32-18 battle of irony to secure his place in the finals.  Although I believe Batman lost a very early edition of Fight Night in 2005 to Captain Jean-Luc Picard, this is his first Bash Wars and by definition he has never tasted defeat in this format--his record stands at a perfect 4-0.

I outlined the Count's record a few weeks ago, so I won't rehash the details now.  Suffice to say that this year he has added Elim Garak, Gandalf the White, the Mirror Universe Spock, and now even the mighty Superman to the trail of victims he began in Bash Wars III.  Although the Count did endure the indignity of a tie in the second round, the structure of Bash Wars allowed him to avenge the blemish on his record; so although he stands at 8-0-1 we can also say he has fought nine opponents and defeated nine opponents.  The final outcome of Count-Superman was a blistering 27-25, reminding us that the Count's performance this year has not been as dominant as in Bash Wars III.  Gandalf and Superman each nearly had him beat, and it's debatable whether Mirror Universe Spock might have been able to take him in a one-on-one encounter.  The Count deserves all the credit in the world for even defending his crown, let alone making it all the way to his second straight Bash Wars finals.  But no champion can stay on top indefinitely; we must now begin to ask if he is running out of steam, and whether he can hold on for one more fight.

As noted, these warriors have more in common than their love of chiropteran-themed accouterments.  They've both been shown to be vulnerable, each very capable of suffering his first-ever loss.  Upon closer analysis we see that Batman has had dealings with the supernatural in general, and vampires in particular, and will be as ready as anyone to deal with the undead.  It's safe to say that Batman was pulling for his buddy "Supe" (he calls him "Supe"), but his keen analytical mind allowed him to determine who his final opponent would be before the tournament even began.  He knows what it'll take to beat the Count and he's prepared to get it done. 

However, Count can count (maniacally) among his Bash Wars experiences a decisive victory over Beatrix Kiddo, demonstrating his ability to defend against the skills of the greatest of martial artists.  We can't know if The Bride has more ninja power than Batman (that's a fight for another day) but what we can say for sure is that she had a sword and still lost, while Batman just has his utility belt.  And it's not like he's had time to reload his gas capsules and stuff.  You can only keep so many miniature bat-phones and collapsable bat-shields in that thing at a time.  Theoretically someone could keep careful track of how many batarangs Batman has already used during this tournament, and therefore determine the number of remaining weapons he has left to use.  Of course, this would require expert-level skill with some sort of system of rudimentary enumeration, such as...I don't know, counting?

Both of these champions could no doubt determine who would on paper.   But here at gore_sports we're not concerned with mere sophistry.  We find out who can win fights the only way we know how--by creating a poll and seeing what the internet thinks and inexplicably using that to form the basis of our decision.  And so it falls to you to decide who will become...or remain!...your Superking.


Poll #1482345 Bash Wars IV finals!
Open to: Friends, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 39

Batman vs. Count Von Count

Have you voted yet in the Bash Wars semifinals?  You probably ought to!  Batman currently leads Stephen Colbert 30-18, while The Count is only just ahead of Superman in a 25-24 battle.  Even one vote could change a lot, and if a dozen people take that advice, that could change even more, making your vote all the more critical. 

This is your last chance--Come 11:59 Chicago time tonight, the poll will close and the winners of our two semifinals will meet head-on.  Hearts are always broken this late in the tournament, so if you care who wins, don't pass up your chance to make a difference!  Vote now!

Dr Girlfriend's breasts look enormous here. That's all I got to say.

The empire strikes back

In recent weeks, we've taken huge steps towards blocking spam accounts on LiveJournal. In fact, we've suspended as many as 30,000 accounts in a single day! We've implemented several pre-emptive measures to prevent the creation of spam accounts, and we've honed our detection of suspicious content. Spam bots are a crafty lot, so we'll continue to refine our tactics and keep up the good fight to keep you safe from spam attacks on LiveJournal.

RSS feeds again

If you're addicted to xkcd_rss, icanhaschzbrgr, or other syndicated feeds, we're pleased to report that we've resolved the update error that was mucking up your RSS feeds. While content was being pulled correctly, it wasn't being posted to the feeds themselves. Late last week, we finally nailed down what we hope was the root problem, so content should post properly. We thank you for your patience.

Wii have killer CSI Deadly Intent contests!

c_s_i

If you're a gamer who loves CSI, have Wii got news for you! c_s_i is sponsoring killer contests. Simply post a question to a member of the CSI crew. The winner will get a free copy of CSI: Deadly Intent for Nintendo Wii (with a retail value of $39.99) and get their question answered by a member of the CSI writing team! There's also a fantastic monthly contest. To enter, join c_s_i, play the online version of CSI: Deadly Intent, and respond to a two-part query for a chance to win a Wii! Entries will be judged on composition and originality. Sorry, but you must be a U.S. resident and over 18 years old to participate. Check out the rules here.

Enveloped in postcards

Last week, we asked you to send in postcards to help us decorate our drab concrete walls. Here's a photo of the results so far! Thank you so much and please keep them coming! You can mail them to Frank the Goat, Esq., c/o LiveJournal, Inc., 539 Bryant Street, Suite 210, San Francisco, CA 94107. Be sure to include your username, since we'll be giving ten random users paid account credits.

Photos of the week

If you haven't visited our new LiveJournal photo community, you're in for an amazing visual trip. LiveJournal users from around the world will take you on a scenic journey to everywhere. Post your own pictures or kick back and enjoy at lj_photophile. You can view some of this week's awesome photos after the jump. Please start tagging with geographic location, since we'd like to track all the places around the world represented in this community. Keep on commenting too!
( Read more... )

Hey guys, keeping with the Halloween theme, I thought you might like to see one of the pumpkins I made this year:

( THE MIGHTY MONARCH! )

If you couldn't tell by the picture and/or the caption, it's suppossed to be the Monarch. :P

( I can't believe I found a speed suit. )

I just shaved my head last week, found the suit, and already had the goatee (from an old stage makeup class) and old glasses that looked the part, so I figured it was meant to be.

I did a much better Dr. Girlfriend costume 2 years ago, but I also had significantly more time to get it together!

aiyatheydidnt
The Chinese version of ONTD, AIYA is a dynamic international community that welcomes users who share a love of contemporary Chinese pop culture. Dedicated to celebrity gossip and entertainment news, you'll enjoy gorgeous photos and breaking stories featuring the glitterati of mainland China, Taiwan, and Hong Kong.

wendylady2
Designed to rescue fashion victims everywhere, this Brit-based community reads like a rag-ezine. Published once or twice weekly, you'll view bizarre highlights of the global fashion scene through captivating photos and delightfully snarky editorial. Sit tight for a virtual fashion tour from the runways of New York to Milan to Paris and back home again to London in homage to the adage: you can't buy good taste.

soldiers_heart
A passionate community for veterans of all ages (mostly American), plus families, friends, and supporters. View poignant snapshots detailing life in combat and back on civilian soil in the form of original artwork, personal narratives, poetry, and photos. Be forewarned that members don't shy away from describing their disappointments, disabilities, and struggles.

well dear old Halloween is now over.
This was my first, and probably last, fan costume. 

( Girl Hitler )

I went as our beloved Hank Venture this year for hallows eve...because as it turns out, I've actually HAD all the items one needs to make a Hank costume in my wardrobe for quite some time. Didn't even realize it until last week. XD

I was actually pleasantly surprised that a lot of people knew who I was tonight! There are 120 students TOTAL on my ENTIRE campus so I thought the chances were slim to none! HOORAY for being wrong! :D

Click the cut for some Hank-related fun!

( Read more... )

And I leave you with this:

Go Team Venture!

The results are in and it is now time for the final four!  From here on out, the dreaded Both Maimed and Killed option has been disabled, because no matter what happens in these battles, There Must Be A Winner.  Thirty-three combatants are now dead.  Who survived last week's intense battles?

BATMAN (nathanpmahney)

VERSUS

STEPHEN COLBERT (intotheaether)

Stephen Colbert has finally laid to rest the demons that haunted him from 2008.  Specifically, the demons that possessed Christine, the haunted car which ran him over in the quarterfinals of Bash Wars III.  This year Colbert survives the quarterfinals by defeating no less than John Wayne, one of our two #1 seeds and a heavy favorite to win the entire tournament.  But it wasn't easy for Colbert, who just barely survived a grueling 24-23 battle.  Nevertheless, Stephen's record improves to an impressive 5-1.

Batman had a difficult time of it in the quarterfinals as well, only just escaping the hunger of Cookie Monster with a 25-24 win.  Since this is his first tournament, his record of course stands at 3-0.  Batman has yet to taste defeat, and it remains to be seen if he can ever be beaten.  However, as noted, Colbert knows vulnerability at the hands of a haunted automobile.  Which means Colbert has reason to fear the supernatural, which would suggest that Colbert is a superstitious and cowardly lot, and I think you smell what I'm cooking.

We cannot overlook the fact that both of these men made it to the semifinals by a margin of only one vote.  They nearly lost, and they bear the wounds of their vicious, bloody deathmatches.  This could come down to which, if either, of these competitors lacks the will to continue.

SUPERMAN (brucha)

VERSUS

COUNT VON COUNT (thebrood138)

Our other semifinal match is also a contest between a legendary DC Comics superhero and a veteran of Bash Wars III.  Superman waged the fight of his life in the last round against Mister T, but in the end his many superhuman powers proved too much for the pitier of fools.  (Additionally, we have unconfirmed reports that someone shouted "Look, it's a bird!  It's a plane!" and Mr. T freaked out about not gettin' on no plane and lost a bit of his nerve going into this fight.)  The final score of S vs. T was 23-18, but a notable stat is that the fight received 12 "Both Maimed and Killed" votes.  Indeed, Superman's fights have often seen a lot of these.  Now that the option has been taken off the table, it remains to be seen whether Supes will thrive or choke.

I'd have to go back and check, but I believe Count Von Count is the first #1 seed to make it to the Final Four.  It's not surprising given that he won Bash Wars III, although he did look to be in trouble after struggling just to tie with Gandalf in the second round.  That fiasco set up a three-way in the quarterfinals between Count, Gandalf, and Mirror Universe Spock, where the loyalties of Spock/Gandalf nerds were divided.  The Count capitalized and once again made it look easy in the final score: Count 21, Gandalf 15, Spock 14.  But he didn't make it look as easy as he used to.  One has to wonder if Count would have made it this far if his last match had been a one-on-one encounter.  There's a lot of pride on the line for Count.  He can't merely rest on his laurels; he has to prove he can defend his Superking crown.

As for this matchup, we can look at their respective records (Superman stands at 3-0, while Count is a stunning 7-0-1), but I think what matters most is Superman's innate weakness to the supernatural, and the Count's innate weakness to being torn to shreds like a piece of felt.  Also, Count has the ability to summon bolts of lightning, which he could totally use on Superman like Captain Marvel did in Kingdom Come.  Or y'know, Superman could eat him.  I mean, he's not Cookie Monster or anything, but he probably could.  In any case, there's no doubt that both men will be able to hurt the other, and it will be gruesome to watch.

But watch we must, for this is the last stop on the road to the finals!  Your vote in this poll will decide who will face off in single combat to determine the 2009 Superking!  Choose wisely!

Poll #1479150 Bash Wars Semifinals
This poll is closed.
Open to: Friends, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 52

Batman vs. Stephen Colbert

Superman vs. Count Von Count

Then be back here on the evening of November 7th, when the winners of these matches collide!

FYI, don't dress as girl hitler unless you're willing to get some "you killed all my kinsmen/brethren" comments :-/
yeah....awkward as hell.

EDIT: If you're reading this, our maintenance is OVER! The problem was not found on our equipment, which means we'll have to work with our ISP to fix this small problem -- which also means another maintenance window in the future -- but at least we have eliminated our side.

Thank you everyone, and a special shout out to rekoil for giving me a great suggestion AND also the opportunity to feel like I've just called in to a local radio station.

Have a great day, night or afternoon wherever you may be.

---

Hi everyone, sorry for the late notice but I'm going to have to do some testing on 1 of our 4 internet circuits TONIGHT; Friday night or Saturday morning depending on which time zone you're in.

Most of us shouldn't notice any impact, though there may be some slowness or lag when I switch traffic on to our other ISP circuits and then another hit when I stop the tests. If a page won't load or times out, try hitting refresh 1 or 2 times and it should load then. If it doesn't work at all... trust me, I'll be typing really really really fast to try to undo whatever I just did. Hopefully you'll have some Halloween candy (if you're in the USA and celebrate that kind of thing) nearby to take away the bitterness of a small site outage. :(

Here's the handy-dandy Website That I Always Use to get a feel for when the maintenance will start in your area. Our site traffic historically dips on Friday afternoons until Saturday morning which is why we tend to pick this time for maintenance work.

( tech details )

status.livejournal.org will, of course be updated before and after the maintenance window. Or else marta will get mad at me. :D

bt

I just happened to take a quick glance at Mantis-Eye to see if the Handsome Ransom capsule was up (it's not), and saw this linked.

Discover where all of Dr Venture's super-science "ideas" come from, and see Dean take a journey through... progressive rock.



Perchance to Dean is this week's episode.

In response to user comments from last week, we want to let you know that we'll remain LJ cut-free for the next month in order to get more eyeballs on our evolving newsletter. As for product coverage, that continues to be our top priority. For more granular detail, however, we recommend you join lj_releases.

Super-tweak for Yandex search

Some of our beta testers expressed privacy concerns using the Yandex search engine. Here's why: Last week, when you ran a search, you could see the usernames (and only the usernames) of everyone who commented on an entry, even if that entry was switched to Private or Friends Only after it was originally indexed. You could NOT see the actual comments from Friends Only or Private posts. In response to your input, we've implemented a fix to keep all user activity currently marked Friends Only or Private completely hidden. If you'd prefer your public content not to be indexed by Yandex, click here and use the settings labeled Search Inclusion (this covers your entire journal) and/or Comment Search Inclusion (which covers comments only). To test drive Yandex search now, click here.

Postcards from the edge

Several years ago, we asked LiveJournal users to send postcards to help us decorate our dull, white-washed offices. Since a good idea warrants repetition, we're at it again (same issue, new address). We hope you'll surround us with LiveJournal love by sending your postcards to Frank the Goat, Esq., c/o LiveJournal, Inc., 539 Bryant Street, Suite 210, San Francisco, CA 94107. We'll post snapshots right here. Be sure to include your username, since we'll randomly pick 10 lucky recipients to win free paid account time.

Conquer Writer's Block

Here are some excerpts from this week's most popular question of the day:

If a friend or relative makes a racist or homophobic remark, do you tend to confront them or let it slide? Are you more likely to confront them if it offends you directly or someone else who seems reluctant to speak up?

1. I find it easier to stand up for other people, and i wouldn't let it slide if they made a rude or hurtful comment.
2. Usually if a friend makes a racist or homophobic remark, I tend to let it slide. I think that while i would not say such things myself, I have no right to censor those around me.
3. This happens all of the time. I confront some relatives, but I refuse to if they are drunk or watch Fox News.
4. I'd let it slide if it was just a private remark... As much as I despise bigotry and intolerance, I know that you can't change people-they have to change themselves ...
5. Confront! confront! confront! Politely, but without equivocation.
6. SPEAK UP. Always, always, always speak up. Letting something slide lets ignorance win. No matter if it offends me directly, or someone else, I will confront the speaker and let them know that's not ok.
7. I don't get offended personally. As an immigrant, woman, gay and person of color if I took every single potentially offensive remark seriously I wouldn't get anything done.
8. I punch them in the balls. With my mind.
9. I do speak up, but often very timidly because I feel that I'm white and therefore I don't really have any authority to lecture someone on what's racist and what isn't...
10. Generally speaking, I do not let this shit fly, because it reduces me as a person, to this non-person and it replicates the destructive discourse that makes sure that sexual minorities, racial minorities, women, people with disabilities, trans people and every intersection thereof into something other than human... And sometimes... I'm just too tired to deal with it, so I roll my eyes, make a sarcastic remark and hope the conversation moves on quickly.

For more daily questions and user comments, join writersblock. FYI, we don't want to invade your privacy, so we haven't credited individual users for their responses. We'd appreciate your feedback on this!

Spotlight community of the week

We can't resist making one last midnight trip to the ol' pumpkin patch. If you adore crazy costumes, fiendish festivities, and bottomless candy consumption as much as we do, this community has just what it takes to light up your jack-o-lantern.


halloween_fan

Photos of the week

We received so many incredible photos, we had to close our eyes and point. We uploaded a selection of awesome images at our new lj_photophile community. Please join and start posting (try to keep the width at around 625 for the sake of consistency)! We'd love for you to tell us more about your photos! You can help us select spotlight photos by commenting on your favorites. Once again, we thank you for making our online world more beautiful!

shutter	pancetta	ilya_gorokhov

Curtains

Thanks, again, for tuning in. We look forward to seeing you next week.

The quarterfinals are heating up!  Here are the scores so far!

John Wayne 22, Stephen Colbert 21

Batman 23, Cookie Monster 22

Count von Count 21, Gandalf the White 11, Mirror Universe Spock 14

Superman 22, Mr. T 16

Note that a couple of those fights are only separated by one vote.  That could be your vote determining the entire shape of the semifinals!  So what are you waiting for, dammit?  Get out there and support your favorite warriors before it's too late!

Brock's outfit is the most familiar thing in the world but I can't place my finger on what it's referencing.